Do you enjoy stunning landscapes, historical architecture, incredible food, and feeling like your country really needs to get its crap together? Visit Japan. Everyone will be so polite and respectful that you'll leave feeling like the garbage person we all are.

Hell of a city. Beautiful buildings, a great food scene, and above average looking people. It's like a great American city, but not scary and disgusting. The Danish have never seen a mountain or a desert, though, so joke's on them.

Nestled in the foothills of the Alps, Slovenia is like Austria, only quieter and with more bureks. Have you tried a burek? It's a flaky, savory pastry thing. They're fantastic. I'd slap your grandma for a chicken burek right now.

A wonderful country with so much more to it than Rome and Pasta. It also has a lot of subpar pizza. Plus mountains and stuff.

Basically a giant swamp that the Dutch saw and thought "yup, this is the spot." Lots of canals, tulips, and pancakes, and not a single mountain. Not. One.

The gateway to Southeast Asia. Plenty of history, incredible food of all kinds and budgets, more jungle than you'd think, and humidity so intense you'll sell your children for an air conditioned McDonalds. It used to be labeled absurdly expensive, but then America said "hold my 12$ IPA. And would you like to tip 20, 50, or 90%?"

Imagine that Greece, Italy, and Slovenia got drunk and had a beautiful threesome baby. Stunning coastline, charming buildings, mild weather, and bureks for days, but subpar public transportation and some ridiculous summer crowds.

You know, the Spanish have sure become snooty towards tourists for a people that invaded the entire new world. But Spain is more than just Barcelona, with its squirt gun-wielding hate mongers. It has tons of nature, history, tapas, Roman stuff, and fancy ham. It's pretty sweet.

It's like Germany, but with fewer people, a better slice of the Alps, and a less complicated recent history. If great beer and mountain gondolas are ever not enough, you've already given up.

Beer and alps and schnitzel and lederhosen and a national penchant for trying to conquer the world. Pretty much covers it.

Did you know that France has more than Paris in it? Because it feels like a lot of people don't. It's a huge country. Get out of that mosh pit of monsters taking selfies under the Eiffel Tower and hop a damn train.

A perfect country for feeling like you're on another planet, with strange and dramatic landscapes like you've never seen. Plus puffins. Just don't expect great food, cheap car rentals, or temperatures over 60, and you'll have a slappin' good time.

If pillars and olive oil are your thing, Greece will have you as randy as a stoat. A stoat that just got out of prison. Plus it never rains and the food is incredible.

It's like England with more grit, more Guinness, and more loathing for the English. Avoid Limerick and black pudding and you'll be grand. Tanks a million.

A little country so sweet and charming it's been purchased by the Hallmark channel. They have great national parks, meat pies, pubs with room temperature beer, cliff paths, rolling hills, and horrifying adverts for dentistry. So there's something for everyone.

You've never seen so many beetles, butterflies, or black beans in your life. And who doesn't love a sloth? This trip was pretty early days, so eventually I'll have to go back to take pictures while not completely sucking at it.

It's green and beautiful, unless you go east of the Cascades, in which case good luck to you. There's still cool stuff out there, but there's also a surprising amount of nothing. And Seattle gets less rain than New York, Houston, New Orleans, and Nasheville. So shutup about it.

America's little tropical bonus state. Coral reefs, active volcanoes, spam masubi, and every trailhead tastefully decorated with broken glass. AKA paradise. And give spam masubi a chance, because deep down, we're all garbage.

California is Latin for "complicated." Don't google it. It has a variety of landscapes not seen in most countries, but the traffic, wildfires, and cost will make your brain melt and leak from your ears. Great national parks, though.

Quite possibly the prettiest state in the country. From the Columbia Gorge to Bend, Crater Lake to that bitchin' coastline. It's a special place. Just don't engage any hipsters in conversation. You could die. Or at least find yourself wanting to.

Road trips, layovers, and the places in between. Plus one day at Epcot.

Spiders, insects, and all the other amazing little critters that make some adults squeal like cartoon children. Plus maybe a fungus or two. Studies have shown that subjects viewed at macro distances are 73% cooler, and that fake statistics can still influence opinion.

I have hundreds of pictures of doors. They're just cool, especially in Europe. All the scarred, ancient wood, the crumbling locks and rusted keyholes, the colors both weathered and vibrant, and all those glorious knockers. Many are quite beautiful, and some are even unlocked.